Hello, officially.

This 1st post is way overdue! Before you start to form (bad) first impressions of me or get all judgey-eyed, let me remind you that I am a mother of two and of which, one is in his terrible twos.. Need I say more?

But whatever my excuse is, it will always be a lousy excuse because, let’s face it, a mother doesn’t get rest days and yet we always find the time to complete everything that is expected of us and more. So please accept my sincere apologies for this late introductory post and know that I am committed to sharing all my mommy experiences with you, fellow mommies (and perhaps some daddies).

First up, a little bit about myself. I am 32 this year and as mentioned above, mother to a boy named Issey (31mo) and a girl named Raeann (6mo). I have been a stay-at-home-mom since the birth of my firstborn but I assure you I know equally well the woes of working moms as I have many friends who wears this hat and I salute them with all of my heart. If we could all learn to get along, there will be plenty to learn from each other, I am sure!

I don’t have a helper but I do have a cleaning lady who helps me with my chores once a week so I get to keep some of my sanity. I believe home-cooked food is the best for my children and nothing is good enough for them unless I do it myself. I whole-heartedly embrace what nature has to offer and always ensures fresh fruits are readily available in the house at all times as opposed to taking supplements. I used to go with only organic but since Issey turned 2yo, I have relaxed a lot on this rule because I figured he needs to get in contact with some germs and bacteria in order for his body to grow stronger naturally. (Ok, fine. Also because Raeann came along so who cares if he is getting organic food? As long as he gets food, I feel accomplished. Haha!)

In terms of disciplining my children, I strongly believe it should start from the second they are born. Not saying you should start hitting them or what but TRAINING. I cannot stress enough how important it is to train your children as early in their lives as you can. Be it sleep training, feeding habits, speech training (yes even from the 1st day you meet them!) etc etc, it should start early. Having said that, I don’t like to force my children to do things they don’t like. If I train them and they go along with it, then good for me. If they don’t seem happy about it, I don’t push it. Let it rest for a few days/weeks (depending on situation) and try again. A child learns best when they are happy and ready, so always wait for them to be ready.

My parenting motto is this, “A crying child is not an unloved child.” I am also all for child-led parenting. I abide by it as much as I can until the situation gets out of control (eg. health hazards, tantrums, etc). I believe firmly in walking the talk so I never demonstrate any behavior that I don’t wish to see my children displaying. At least not in front of them!

I hope that is enough to paint you a picture of the kind of Mommy I am. As we bond together over the next few posts, I am sure you will uncover more of my dirty parenting secrets so let’s not rush things.

Mommy Meowmee and myself would like to invite all you fellow mommies to join us on this journey of self-discovery and exploration with our kids, otherwise known as Parenting! Let’s share all our experiences, big or small, good or bad, bit by bit, little by little, until we are all little pockets full.

Thank you for having me in this big parenting family!

Mommy kellykylie

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There’s a virus going around here.

Mid of last week (or earlier), everyone came down with the FFC – Flu, Fever and Cough. It all started with the Papa, then the baby caught it…and she passed it to me. Caring for a baby is a pretty uphill task. Caring for a baby that falls sick? Make that a ‘up-mountain’ task!

So, my clingy sticker baby became super glue the moment she felt unwell. Constantly wanted to be carried all the time and refusing to play on her own for even a minute. She even lost her appetite, not that it was already fantastic to begin with. Charley has a rather small appetite on most days. While other kiddos are downing 210ml, she’s still hovering between 150-180ml, looking slim as ever. With every feed she took ever since she came down with the FFC, every cough warrants a vomit. We used to worry about such vomits..but an incident which led us to a doctor’s consultation has reassured us that it’s quite normal for baby to cough and puke because they squeeze their stomach muscle too hard. She has also declined taking milk because she can’t breathe and take in a bottle at the same time; or with that added torture of swallowing down milk a throat that has puked a fair bit (my poor baby!). So with the lost in appetite, it seems like she has lost a bit of weight. Undeterred to letting her lose more weight. I went along with feeding her using a cup for the last two days. There were spills but at least she’s drinking! I’m only doing this because we have been training her to drink direct from a cup for quite some time. Part of me worry that she will grow the habit of preferring milk in a cup but I guess that worry is uncalled for because she managed to drink back from her bottle this evening.

In a weird motherly way, I’m quite glad that I’ve caught the virus from her. That way, I know exactly what she’s going through and I can try to make things better, more comfortable for her. So in our attempt to make her more comfy, the papa and I took turns to suck out the mucus from her nose. Ah, such is love. (Yucks, Yikes, Eeks!) But before you think it’s horribly disgusting, I just want to say your turn may come. Haha.

That said, she has since recovered from her fever (because the above was drafted for two days!) and she’s left with a phlegm-y cough and running nose. She’s also getting back to holding her own bottle and finishing up her porridge. Keeping my fingers crossed that this gets better! Very thankful that she’s got her appetite back too. Here’s a picture of my sick Koala (ignore the Aunty looking me):

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Charley is officially ONE!

Entire July went by in a whim! We were so busy that the only place I was updating about me and Charley was on Instagram. We shifted into our new place and Charley celebrated her first birthday at our new place! Definitely what I’ve hope for for her first party! I’ve wanted a cosy place and private/ intimate setting and everything went exactly as planned. Thanks to my girls for helping out. Couldn’t have thanked them enough.

So what did we have for Charley’s big ONE?

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If I had the time, I would love to be able to bake my own dessert table. It is quite horrible how the real world is charging exorbitant prices just for cupcakes and cakes. Maybe next year, when my dear daughter learns not to cling on to my legs while I wash the dishes, I could bake something nice for her. I’ve went through quite a fair bit of pastry vendors to get to the chosen one. Many of these vendors are charging an overrated pricing from $500 onwards and I think that’s totally uncalled for, plus it’s way over my budget. I’ve even came across one that’s asking for $1k plus with just a few items. So I’ve went along with this newly established pastry shop called Edith patisserie. The cakes are done by Ethel and Shaun (I think?) and they are charging a fairly reasonable pricing for what I’m asking for. Moreover, their bakes are child-friendly (less sweet in my opinion) and their service is pretty good. Love their raspberry choco cake, praline tarts and passionfruit mango tarts! They tasted awesome!

Decors: I’ve only got a few decors up for the house. There is a photo bunting on one wall and pinwheels on the other side of the wall – for photo taking purposes. The craft paper are bought randomly at Daiso and another shop which I’ve forgotten the name but it’s somewhere at Wheelock.

Dessert table: The blue polka dot tablecloth is provided by Edith Patisserie and the table runner is bought from ikea. The transparent sealable jugs/ container are also from ikea. The floral trays are from Daiso and I’m currently using them to place fridge items so that the condensed water won’t form on the base. The ribbon for the containers are from Popular bookstore.

For real food: a dear friend SY helped to buy fried bee hoon and old Chang kee just in case some of my guest turns up hungry. She has bought 30 pax worth of beehoon and we ended up giving some away to the workers under my block. 30pax worth of beehoon was a lot! No joke! Some of our guest also left with beehoon takeaway for the night. My mum made two trays of curry and I’ve also had fried rice cooked for the occasion so we ended up with a lot of leftovers. Not forgetting almond and konnyaku desserts. Burped.

Drinks: I’ve made Ribena and detox lemon drink in the fridge. Quite amazed that my guest drank the lemon water because I didn’t plan that for the party, it was actually for personal consumption but I’ve no complaints about that! They probably needed to clean up abit from eating too much sweets! 😛 Another gf sponsored more packeted drinks and now they are sitting in my fridge! 😀

All the craft works are made with love by Charley’s BFF, misschua. Even the photos are taken by her. She’s not professional but if you would like to engage her services, do leave a comment/email!

Did I miss out anything? If you see something there that I’ve not mentioned and you would like to find out how we got it, please leave a comment and I will revert soonest! 🙂

With that, with a lot of love, Happy Birthday again my munchkin.

Learning to know, Learning to fall.

Few weeks ago someone rolled her eyes at me and my daughter in the train. She was a working adult, carrying a twisted balloon which has drawings on it. It was a peak hour train ride at 6.00pm. Perhaps she was thinking that my poor baby was eyeing that balloon but really, Charley was just craving for some sort of attention. However, that’s not what I wanted to talk about today.

Call me a strict mum but I believe that whatever you guide/teach your child now it will form on their behavior and learning even as early as 8 months old. Why do I say that? Because babies have a really absorbent brain which is similar to a sponge now. Imagine a newly bought hard disk, or a shower sponge if you must. If you repeatedly curse in front of your baby, your baby will definitely pick that language up and use it back when they get more verbal.

So when others carry Charley and says the ‘wrong’ things I spare no effort to correct them immediately. For eg, one does not say gai-gai (shopping) to a baby when the baby is not going out. People asked me, ‘What’s the big deal? Your baby doesn’t understand now isn’t it?’ But well, that’s how they learn isn’t it? If you repeatedly tell a child gai-gai while he/she is seated then they will think that ‘gai-gai’ means sitting down. So yes, it is quite a big deal.

You do not shower too much attention over a small fall. All kiddos fall as they grows up. It is almost mission impossible not to fall as they grow but of course, one does not purposely let a baby fall. You know that children craves for attention. You don’t tell a kid that the floor is naughty when they fall or repeatedly ask where they knock themselves at because they are going to say everywhere hurts because you kept asking them continuously. Imagine your child all grown up and blaming it on the floor at 10 years old. Instead of showering too much of the wrong attention, just let the child know that it is okay to fall. You know how some kids run towards their parents, slipped and fall, get back on their own feet and smile at their parents? That’s the kind of children I would like to nurture.

In life, we cannot determine when’s our next fall but at least we know that we can get right back up on our own feet without anyone’s help. Doesn’t need anyone to tell you things are okay because you are okay on your own. You will be independent. You will learn to be more careful. Yes, it is painful to fall but it is really no big deal.

Baby schedule.

I haven’t tried bring Charley out on my own as of yet. Most of the time I’m out with my mum. In fact, Charley’s day schedule is so packed to the brim that sometimes she’s hardly got time to go to our nearby market. Well, when her schedule is so packed.. It only means that mine is twice worse since I’ve to look after her needs and wants. Further to that, her sleep regression is not doing me any good. These days, her nap time is so erratic that it ranges from 15 mins to 1 hr. In that time frame, I’m suppose to eat, wash up anything/everything, cook her food, wash her clothes and the list goes on.

At 7 months going 8 months old, this fine lady definitely knows how to show her moods. Sometimes she knows that by screaming her heart out does get her somewhere… But it doesn’t work on me every time so soon she’ll have to wise up 😛 She has also learnt to turn her face away from the bottle when she’s had enough. In the past she’ll just cough while drinking and the milk will always land on my face. When I tried to pop the bottle back into her mouth, she will struggle and find ways to turn away like stretching her body and making it as straight as a wakeboard. Yeap, this girl is growing up alright.

While I’m envious that some of the babies around her age are already sleeping through the night. I guess my time will come… eventually. I could coax her into thinking that there will be no more night feeds but since she’s a slim baby, I might as well let her drink if she’s up for it. For now I’ll just have to suck it up till she grows out of it on her own.

So a typical day goes like this:

6.30 – 7.30am: Baby wakes. Sometimes I’m lucky when she wakes at 7.30am, sometimes I get zombie hours at 5.30am. She would smile at me and wouldn’t go back to sleep. I don’t feed her when she wakes at such late timing closer to first feed else the day schedule would go haywire.

7.00am – 7.30am: First milk feed. Don’t get me wrong here. It’s not combat schooling so the timing is not fixed.

8.00am: I’ll make her two portion blended cereal; one for the evening. Sometimes we’ll to the market at this godly hour.

8.30am – 9.30am: Nap. These days she’s refusing to go for her nap. I catch my breakfast while she naps.

9.30am: Baby Breakfast is served. Currently into purÊe.

10.00am: Shower.

11.30am: Second milk feed.

12.00pm: Second nap of the day. Sometimes it’s a good one hour nap, other days it’s a 15 min cat nap. I catch my lunch here.

2.00pm: Fruit tasting. Enough said.

3.30pm: Milk feed.

4.30pm: If I’m lucky she will take another nap here.

5.30pm: Baby Dinner is served.

6.30pm: Quick shower. Charley perspires a lot so it’s not possible to just wipe her up. Yes I know that babies have heir natural oils to protect them and I’m washing it away but I think letting her sleep in comfort is better than letting her sleep in perspiration. Furthermore I’d just briefly wash her up.

7.30pm: Milk feed and night routine. She’ll go to sleep between 7.30pm – 8.00pm these days and that’s when I connect myself to the rest of the world.

11.00pm: Struggling to sleep. Sometimes she’ll need a feed here sometimes she doesn’t.

2.30am – Night feed.

And my day starts all over again like 50 days of summer only that I’ve still got my memory intact. Of course I’ll try my best to keep to her schedule when we’re out and we’ll just skip on fruits in the noon. How is your baby schedule like? Do share them along with me! 🙂

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What I dislike the most.

The Baby Hogger – I personally think that the only people allowed to hog a baby are their parents. Yes, a baby is meant to be shared in a certain way. But constant hogging of a baby.. Can be quite a pain. I know of a dear friend whose you-know-who hogs her baby and bring the little kid into her own room, close the door and kept the baby off the sight of the mother. Or the scenarios where you tried to go into a room where your baby was taken to and you had to bear with nasty comments. Or cases where you passed your baby to let someone hold because they requested to. But when you ask to hold your baby back they commented that you are snatching your baby back. Yup, I roll-y my eyes yo.

The Inconsiderate bugger – you know the kind that talks really loud, the kind that slams the door, the kind you tell him/her that a baby is trying to sleep and they continue to talk at the top of their voice..You get my drift. Ever since I had little Charley, I made a conscious effort to minimize loud noises when she’s sleeping. I give her white noises but I don’t give her noises. There’s a difference in that. I made a mental note to myself to be extra considerate because I’ve once pressed the door bell to a dear friend’s home forgetting about the little one. Thank goodness the little prince continued to sleep soundly.

Those who conversations have double meanings – you know how some people make comments or talk about a certain something but actually means another? Like ‘shooting arrows right at your face’, or comment to baby but those words are actually meant for your ears? I told off someone regards to this before and it better don’t happen to another. This is almost equivalent to someone who shoots their mouth off without thinking. I rather you go shoot a bird.

The Advisor – so many people have been there done that. Sometimes your advices may be good, but sometimes just let the parents try their own method if they’ve already acknowledge your advices. I personally dislike advices which are repeatedly told to me. They made it like I had to do it their way. There is a different and modernized approach on how to raise a kid these days. Whatever worked in the past may not necessary work best in the current generation. Just saying.

The Commenter – ‘oh she’s biting this, it’s dirty!’ ‘Oh your baby is in pain!’ ‘Oh she wants me to carry her!’ I once went to NTUC to grab some groceries with my mum and a promoter took an interest in taking to me. She commented that Charley follows after me, being skinny and all. Once she learnt that I opted for caesarean she gave a disgusted look and ask me why I had gone for that. My reply to her was that I probably didn’t have enough energy to push. She continued to say caesarean causes two points of pain and it was better to go natural and I told her that it doesn’t matter how did the baby came out as long as she came out safe and healthy. I thought I’ve shut her for a bit but nope, the conversation didn’t just end here. She went on to say that ‘now you finally understand that it’s not easy being a mum once you’re a mum!’ I wanted to tell her that I didn’t have to be a mum to know. I already knew because I have a mum. Well, sometimes, just sometimes, keep your comments to yourself if they are non-constructive.

If I am whom I was in the past, I may not exactly hold my temper down and bear with these people listed above. But now I hold back myself because I am a role model to my kid. These people listed above are not the ones who are going to nurture your kid. They are not the ones who are going to take care of your kid. So, do what you deem best for your baby.